Still Just Waiting

Have you ever gone to an appointment and sat in the waiting room for what felt like forever? You felt like you saw people come and go and you read every magazine there is to read (besides the parenting ones and the 'I'm a new mom' ones!), but you are still just waiting.  You know there is nothing you can do really. You could complain, but then the people who work in the office where you are waiting will talk about you and maybe even make you wait longer just to spite you. Or you could just leave and say you don't have time to wait any longer, but you know you will just be right back in the same spot when you have to reschedule the appointment.

This is where I am. Stuck. Waiting. Watching people come and go with cute pregnant bellies while mine is still just flabby from eating too many carbs. :) Reading every bit of research on the Internet and from my reproductive endocrinologist...I know about things that only medical professionals should know! I cry now and again and complain that I've waited long enough, but it doesn't change my situation. Other people just think I'm an emotional wreck (aka crazy) and can't understand why I would be so upset after hearing about the newly pregnant girl at work and how she spent the morning throwing up in the bathroom. I want to spend my mornings throwing up in the bathroom!!!! I could give up and quit, but I know I'd be wanting to try again soon so I might as well just stick it out.

At this moment I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor with results from my blood work. Will I be able to come off the pill? Will we be able to try again?! Or am I stuck on birth control for another month while my hormone levels continue to spike?

BUT, I know there is purpose in the wait. I'm not sure what it is, but I'll know one day and this waiting game will make sense to me. In the past week, two of the daily devotions I get by email have been about waiting. Waiting on God. Literally waiting on Him, as in serving him like a waiter would do. And really, what else would I do...pout? Yeah, I could do that (and some days I do), but I shouldn't stop serving Him because life isn't what I planned. After all, He did send His Son to die for me so the least I can do is serve Him and give Him my heart. So even though I'm stuck in the waiting room, I'm going to make it through. I'll see the doctor, the Great Physician, when He's ready and He'll bring healing and comfort and answers. Even if it's not the answers I was hoping for.

"Wait on The Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on The Lord." Psalms 27:14